Writing your own wedding vows: a simple guide with examples
12 July 2026
A stress-free way to write personal wedding vows — a structure that works, gentle tips, and example wording to get you started.
Writing your own vows can feel daunting — but it doesn't have to. These are the promises at the very heart of your ceremony, and with a little structure, anyone can write something honest and moving. Here's my simple approach.
You don't have to start from a blank page
If the idea of writing vows fills you with dread, remember you have options: write them together, write them separately and keep them a secret until the day, or ask me to write a first draft from what you tell me and shape it with you. All of these produce beautiful results.
A simple structure that works
- Who they are to you — a line about what this person means.
- A memory or a truth — something specific that captures you as a couple.
- Your promises — three or four is plenty. Mix the heartfelt with the everyday.
- A look forward — the life you're choosing together.
A few gentle tips
- Keep it to about a minute each — short and sincere beats long and grand.
- Mix warmth with a little humour; a knowing laugh is a wonderful thing in a ceremony.
- Agree a rough length and tone together so one of you isn't a paragraph and the other an essay.
- Read them aloud beforehand — words land differently spoken than written.
Promise the real things: to make the tea, to listen properly, to be kind on the hard days. Those are the vows people remember.
Want a hand?
If you'd like, I'll help you draft, polish, or simply calm the nerves. Your vows should sound like you — and I'm here to make sure they do.